i miss today

already :)

[disclaimer: this post is a train of thought i really needed to see in writing - it does not really concern anyone else but me, so feel free to check another post]

watched a bit of “The Jane Austen Book Club” I recorded the other day
(PVR is fascinating – and GRIGG is soo adorable. rant about him later ;) )

sat on the couch, reached my hand between the cushions to find some change
and dug up two oranges instead.

i’m not sure how my upbringing affects my future life – but i wish that one day, I’d have wonderful neighbours like mine and random crops of fruit hiding in the furniture.

laughed like a maniac over my oranges and Grigg, went over to fiddle with the newest whim of the household: high-tech scale that registers body fat and skinny and cholesterol and how bad your health is and how many oranges you have outside where they should be. stuck my oranges (haha, finders keepers!) under my elbow and carried the scale like a baby upstairs, figuring out my height and my age and whether i wear the dress or the pants on that little stick dude/dudette for your gender.

this is really a strange post

last,
finally ended all that fuss :)
rode a Canadian cab for the first time today! very exciting.

i love chatty cab drivers.

i saw her and i understood what “bursting into tears” meant, right then and there. i wish i didn’t but looking back, it was good i did because it would have sucked to have understood that at home, all alone, 2 hours later, finding oranges and giggling over Grigg (say that 10x really fast!)

i’m swarmed with everything: SHAD application is due today but i’m really uncertain whether i’m really that passionate about the sciences. i hope i find that passion if i do decide to turn it in tomorrow, after another all-nighter fumbling over my creativity (or lack thereof) for writing and physics and chemistry and everything else

because i realized
i’m not missing school tmr.

it’s all over, and i’m glad.
i deserve to stress over homework in peace (oxyMORON) and not have to go through what nobody should “at this age”, says everyone.
sometimes i wish they’d stop saying that, because encouragements make me feel like i’m handling it like i should, but i’m beginning to feel that it’s not how it should be done at all.

i wish i had a smarter heart
that’s all

*phew*
that felt good – to just let it all out. random thoughts and oranges and all.
i’d thank this blog right now, but that would just give this blog post a 0/6 instead of a 1 for the good font i’m using. (isn’t the date just beautiful?)

the sun is beautiful outside.
(holy – i weight a LOT!)

i think i’ll go walking.

PS – normal blog post next time, i promise. :)
(maybe about GRIGG! :P)